metro mama

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Big Papa Guest Blog: Buying the Ring

BP has the blogging bug...

Proposing to Jewels was pretty much a formality from my point of view. When she decided to join me in Toronto the deal was done. The question became, when was the wedding, not are we going to get married. To that end, we had looked at engagement rings, and I had a good idea of what to get. I thought that left me well prepared to go out and pick one up. How wrong I was.

I found buying a wedding ring extremely difficult for a number of reasons. Firstly, I hate shopping, for anything. Secondly, I knew next to nothing about jewellery. To compound the problem, there was no way to educate yourself.

For example, if I were to buy a car, I could talk to the guys at work about what they drive, read the paper, the internet and in the end probably get something that is right for us. Talk to a dozen firefighters about what kind of wedding ring to get, or where to get it? They’d run you out of the hall!

As well, how do you know one jeweller’s diamond is better then the others? Even looking at diamonds through a microscope, I could not often tell the difference from one to another, then what size do you get, and with what ring? I started to get stressed.

In addition, the guidelines they would give you were 2-3 months after tax salary (I didn’t spend that much). To be dropping that kind of money on anything would stress me out, to drop it on something I did not really understand was terrifying.

The last wrinkle was the sales people; it was just like buying a used car. They would give the “A diamond is forever” line, as well as, “its important to show how much you love her” with a high quality diamond, which by the way starts at $10 000. Oh and here was the real killer, they wanted 8-10 weeks to manufacture the thing, which blew my proposal plans right out of the water.

Then there is the whole values clash I had. The only time I paid any attention to rings was when I was buying one. You could walk into my house with a boulder on your hand, and I would not notice. I’d rather use the money on the down payment for a house, or a trip, but this purchase was not about my values.

I want Julie to be happy, I am fully aware the size and cost of a ring has little to do with how much you love someone. However, I don’t want her to go out with her friends and have some crappy little ring, she’s embarrassed to wear. As well, we’re not moving to Rosedale anytime soon, but we’re not poor either. We can afford something decent. But what is decent?

This is a decision only I can make. I can’t say “hey Julie, we’ve got the wedding, honeymoon, and I’d like to buy a house soon. As well, the car has three tires in the grave and you want to finish school. How much do you want me to drop on the diamond?”

Big Papa – last of the romantics

In the end, I found a nice little jewellery shop, run by a mother and daughter, who were not too pushy, and not far from our apartment. They had my ring ready in about 10 days. The number of carats on Julie’s diamond, I can’t remember, but the ring itself is white gold. The sad part for me was that it was not a “magical experience” giving Jewels the ring; it was a fucking relief I finally purchased the thing.

BP

Labels:

17 Comments:

Blogger kittenpie said...

Ha ha - Misterpie avoided the whole fandango by letting me pick out my own after he proposed with a plastic one. We were both happy, it's all good.

4:15 PM  
Blogger Gabriella said...

You know just the fact that you actually take the time to write this out for your wife beats any size of diamond!!!

5:59 PM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

My hubby took me ring shopping with him, too. So I'm impressed that you went by yourself and found something to give her.

7:32 PM  
Blogger Lisa b said...

It is so stressful picking out a ring to surprise someone with. I have to agree agreeing to write the story is priceless!

9:23 PM  
Blogger penelopeto said...

What a fantastic story. What a sensible, romantic guy.

we didn't even have a ring. I ended up getting an early inheritance - my great-grandmother's 1918 engagement ring - when my mother found out that we could care less about the bling and would never spend the cash on it. I am so glad that we didn't preempt this wonderful gift, and even tho it's not from chris, it means so so much.
anyway, as evidenced tonight, we can barely remember when our anniversary is - so much for the symbols of love!

11:05 PM  
Blogger sunshine scribe said...

BP is fabulous.

Loved this story and that he has been bitten by the blogging bug.

Someday I'll share our ring/engagement story too ... but I doubt I can talk my man into blogging for me. He's a man of few words.

7:23 AM  
Anonymous Naomi (urban mummy) said...

Fun story!

My husband got a diamond. The jeweller put it in a setting that was absolutely nothing like we chose (we looked together).

He gave it to me anyway, and then we went together to a jeweller and had something designed specifically for me. Not overly romantic, but it'll do!

9:54 AM  
Blogger crazymumma said...

But she will treasure it forever. We decided on no engagementring. But a hint to all you Partners in Parenthood out there, a gal likes to get a bit of bling for every child she pops out. Thats what we did....

12:24 PM  
Anonymous Chris Williams said...

don't worry about it Sean, Diamonds Aren't Forever. that's because they are practically worthless. the diamonds are forever line was created by an New York ad firm in 1948 because deBeers was worried that if average people starting reselling their diamonds back into the market it would cause the artficial rarity they had created (diamonds are lumps of carbon, the 3rd most common element on earth.) to collapse. A British paper recognized this, bought a $10,000 diamond, and tried to sell it back to the retailer the next day. They were offered $400.
Suddenly Australian and Russian diamond mines were discovered, flooding the market, and devaluing the diamonds. To compensate for the abundance of diamonds that same New York Ad Firm came up with the idea that a diamonds's "value" should be reflected in other aspects, like the cut, and opacity of the diamond, to justify outrageous prices. At the same time, they launched a ad campaign aimed at intertwining the notion of romance with diamonds, so you couldn't have one without the other. The campaign itself, which I don't have space to go into, is familiar and ingenious. ie, the pyschology of a getting down on one knee and suprising her with a diamond was a deBeers ad campaign to stop couples from ring shopping together, because women might feel guilty about the amount being spent on them if they were present in the store, but would accept a 2-3 months salary diamond if it were presented to them as a gift later, feeling like they couldn't say no after such a 'romantic' and expensive gesture.
so there you go Sean. come talk to me at your 5 year anniversary. :)

12:34 PM  
Anonymous something blue said...

If a woman said no because the ring was wrong, that would be a very bad sign.

I love that BP is blogging! You'll have to set him up as a contributor to your blog!

2:17 PM  
Blogger Albert said...

A main point that you mentioned was that it was a huge relief to have purchased the ring. A huge relief to get it off your chest. I just bought a ring. My g/f and I went together and found an awesome ring. Two days later, she tells me she wants to look at other rings from another jeweler. WTF? I thought I was done. She doesn't understand why it is stressful for me. Can anyone help?

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

8:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello !.
You may , probably curious to know how one can collect a huge starting capital .
There is no initial capital needed You may begin earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you thought of all the time
AimTrust incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

It is based in Panama with structures around the world.
Do you want to become an affluent person?
That`s your chance That`s what you wish in the long run!

I`m happy and lucky, I started to get real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to choose a proper companion utilizes your money in a right way - that`s the AimTrust!.
I earn US$2,000 per day, and what I started with was a funny sum of 500 bucks!
It`s easy to get involved , just click this link http://oraceleja.kogaryu.com/inytaqys.html
and lucky you`re! Let`s take our chance together to become rich

3:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi !.
might , probably very interested to know how one can manage to receive high yields .
There is no initial capital needed You may commense to get income with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you haven`t ever dreamt of such a chance to become rich
The firm represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

It is based in Panama with structures everywhere: In USA, Canada, Cyprus.
Do you want to become a happy investor?
That`s your chance That`s what you desire!

I`m happy and lucky, I started to get real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. If it gets down to choose a proper companion utilizes your savings in a right way - that`s the AimTrust!.
I take now up to 2G every day, and my first investment was 500 dollars only!
It`s easy to get involved , just click this link http://exosaluk.greatnow.com/katihi.html
and go! Let`s take this option together to become rich

11:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good day !.
might , probably very interested to know how one can reach 2000 per day of income .
There is no need to invest much at first. You may commense to get income with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you haven`t ever dreamt of such a chance to become rich
AimTrust incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

Its head office is in Panama with affiliates everywhere: In USA, Canada, Cyprus.
Do you want to become an affluent person?
That`s your choice That`s what you wish in the long run!

I`m happy and lucky, I began to take up real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. If it gets down to choose a correct companion utilizes your funds in a right way - that`s it!.
I make 2G daily, and my first deposit was 1 grand only!
It`s easy to join , just click this link http://ejyfurad.freecities.com/ewybysi.html
and go! Let`s take our chance together to feel the smell of real money

3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good day !.
You may , probably curious to know how one can collect a huge starting capital .
There is no initial capital needed You may commense earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you need
The firm incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

It is based in Panama with affiliates around the world.
Do you want to become an affluent person?
That`s your chance That`s what you wish in the long run!

I`m happy and lucky, I began to get income with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to choose a proper partner utilizes your money in a right way - that`s AimTrust!.
I take now up to 2G every day, and my first investment was 500 dollars only!
It`s easy to get involved , just click this link http://hogosiqi.fcpages.com/gonyduwe.html
and lucky you`re! Let`s take this option together to get rid of nastiness of the life

8:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good day, sun shines!
There have been times of hardship when I didn't know about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright pessimistic person.
I have never imagined that there weren't any need in big initial investment.
Now, I'm happy and lucky , I started to get real money.
It gets down to choose a proper companion who uses your money in a right way - that is incorporate it in real business, parts and divides the income with me.

You may ask, if there are such firms? I have to tell the truth, YES, there are. Please be informed of one of them:
http://theblogmoney.com

12:22 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.