metro mama

Friday, September 29, 2006

It's Wednesday--Time to Wet the Wick

I was going to title this post Friday, Time to Fuck but thought it sounded a little crass.

A good friend of ours was in town this week and stayed with us for a couple of nights. He’s the father of a six-month old girl, so we had lots to talk about. After all of the requisite bragging about our girls’ sparkling personalities, the conversation turned to the effect of a new baby on marriage; in particular, the effect on one’s sex life (I’ve mentioned before the challenges we faced in this department).

We learned our friends have a strategy for coping with the post-baby coital slump. They establish a minimum sex threshold by scheduling it once a week. Yep, if Friday comes around, regardless of how many times they’ve done it, how tired they are, or any other excuses, they just do it. This way, you never have more than a week go by without a bit of the old in and out.

At first we laughed, then I thought, wait a minute, this is brilliant. If you wait until you're in the mood for the old mattress mambo, it never happens. There have been times when I haven’t felt like bumping bellies but did it anyway because I thought I should. Every time, I’m glad I did it. It’s like diving into the ocean—you feel lazy and don’t want to bother getting your hair wet; the water is kind of cold and is a bit of a shock to the system at first; but once you’re in, you feel invigorated and refreshed.

So, Papa and I have decided to do the mommy-daddy dance every Wednesday, at the absolute minimum. We chose Wednesday because we’re less likely to have plans, I don’t have school, there’s nothing on TV (oh shit, I just remembered Lost is on Wednesday). No matter, we’re doing it anyway. If he’s working Wednesday, we move it up to Tuesday (by the way, it was my idea to move it forward, not back. I’m really on board with this plan).

I’ll let you know how it comes, I mean goes.

All’s well when ends meet.



Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

You TOTALLY have to keep us posted. TOTALLY.

How, for example, to deal with being bone-tired? Or, um, sick?

1:06 PM  
Blogger Gabriella said...

it sounds like a good plan. let us know if it works out. And i loved the analogy of comparing it to diving in the ocean, that's exactly how it feels sometimes (ok most of the time)

1:33 PM  
Blogger metro mama said...

Bad Mother: Whoever's bone tired or sick gets to just lay there. Hopefully, we're not sick at the same time.

1:58 PM  
Blogger sunshine scribe said...

Three cheers for Wednesdays!

3:03 PM  
Blogger bubandpie said...

You had fun writing this post, didn't you? It's a good plan, though in my experience somebody is ALWAYS sick (usually not both at the same time, though, so your answer to HBM's query may hold up).

3:39 PM  
Blogger bubandpie said...

You had fun writing this post, didn't you? It's a good plan, though in my experience somebody is ALWAYS sick (usually not both at the same time, though, so your answer to HBM's query may hold up).

3:40 PM  
Blogger cinnamon gurl said...

But House is on Tuesdays... ;)

mattress mambo and bumping bellies... love that. I look forward to the next post on the subject if just for the colourful euphemisms.

3:55 PM  
Blogger jen said...

good god damn. LOVE IT. And certainly need it. Should have kept the original title...

Now we all get to smile on Wednesdays in your honor.

5:03 PM  
Blogger Lisa b said...

Ok I'm laughing too but now am also wondering if this is brilliance.

8:38 PM  
Blogger Lisa b said...

Ok I'm laughing too but now am also wondering if this is brilliance.

8:38 PM  
Anonymous The Mentor Mom said...

My husband and I have been doing this for eight years. We picked Sundays. It works great and takes the pressure off. And as far as being sick, I take a pass for the weeks when he is sick, ie, no makeup sex needed. He of course wants the makeup sex. Is this too much information?!

9:29 PM  
Blogger penelopeto said...

i so don't believe that you need this, but have fun!

10:09 PM  
Blogger s@bd said...

I know several couples who do this ...

8:04 AM  
Blogger crazymumma said...

What a ...bawdy crack me up.

We really let our sex life slide, something taht meant nothing to me as a sleep deprived no libido mummy, but meant the world to my bitter oops, better half. So now, I remind myself that that side of things needs nurturing as well. Too bad every time we are at it the kids are hammering on the door asking to be let in....phonecalls and sex...I have a radar....

2:44 PM  
Blogger Haley-O said...

"bit of the old in and out" -- LOL! Great post! What a great topic. We all need to think on this, I'm sure. My hubby and I try to do it at least once on the weekend. That's our goal. Cuz we've found -- you're absolutely right -- you have to make a date of it, or it ain't gonna happen as much as it should. Love the jumping in the ocean analogy.... Good luck with the new schedule! I think it's a great idea.

3:47 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

This is a fantastic idea. I am going to suggest it, cuz ya know, weeks can go by. I don't even have a new baby or a little baby.

I could use a little!

5:26 PM  
Blogger Denguy said...

Wow, 16 comments and not one Hump Day joke...

9:40 PM  
Anonymous Jenny said...

"Friday. Time to fuck"

Hee. I shouldn't be giggling at that still. I'm such a 4th grader.

9:36 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

I've heard of this a few times before, an interesting concept! I agree that if you wait for the mood to strike you, it doesn't usually happen due to other circumstances!
But, Wednesdays, my dear, you must make it after LOST! What an amazing show--my fav!

10:51 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

You crack me up. It IS a great idea. Now when Wednesday rolls around, I'm gonna be thinking about YOU. heehee

12:28 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

J and I do something like this. It does help. We'd tried books, accessories, etc. -- but I think frequency really does make a difference.

(p.s., you gotta come up with an expression for when your day gets rescheduled to Tuesdays...)

9:38 PM  
Blogger metro mama said...

B&P: yep, sure was fun.

mentor mom: no such thing as tmi

penelope: trust me-we need it

denguy: hee!

nancy: how 'bout Tuesday, time to tussle! sounds so prison break.

9:41 PM  
Anonymous Krissy said...

I agree. Brilliant idea!

1:19 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

I just found you through bub and pie. I could so relate. We had a terrible time after our first child and an even worse one after the second (my mother was diagnosed with leukemia less than two weeks after she was born, I stopped working and Scott started working - talk about stressful!). We just celebrated our tenth anniversary by taking the girls camping (the youngest is 13 months) and we're having a fabulous time lately. And we know we can weather a whopper of a storm. Oh - and Scott's line to me when I'm tired and don't think I'm in the mood is, "You'll like it - you always feel better after...."

10:10 PM  

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