There's No Such Thing as a Virtual Friend

Many thanks to my talented friend Christine, who designed this new image for my blog. The background is a picture she took from our roof deck when she last visited. Yep, that’s Cakes and I superimposed, with some cool PhotoShop tricks. She also deserves credit for the amazing photo of Cakes I use for my profile.

I met Christine a few years ago when I first moved to Toronto, through a website called Two For the Show. The site, as its title implies, is geared towards people who are new to cities, tired of going to shows alone, and looking for new buddies. My profile caught her eye because of our shared love of Austen, John Irving, and the theatre. We agreed to meet for Shakespeare in High Park. We hit it off instantly. After the show, we went to the local pub. We knew we’d be pals when we both ordered beers, grilled cheese, and fries. She’s since moved to London but has an excellent overseas phone plan, so we’ve kept up rather nicely. She’s visited twice and has put up with our guest room next to the room of a baby who likes to start her day at 5 am when we have company.

So, when the blogging mamas decided to get together, I must admit I wasn’t really nervous. Okay, maybe I was just a little nervous about Cakes having a meltdown and assaulting another baby (which she did). But, I knew the women would hit it off.

A friendship formed online is no less real than any other friendship. I think friendships form in this community particularly rapidly—there is a an openness here that is conductive to getting to know the real person, while stripping away the formalities and pretensions sometimes present in other interactions. We have so much in common before we even begin—most of us are mothers and a lot of us love writing and literature. These commonalities are a great start. Add to that, support, understanding and encouragement, and you have friendship.

I think it was wonderful some of us were able to meet. I hope we will do it again—I think we will. However, I think there are people here I will never meet, but who nevertheless will become very good friends. There is no such thing as a “virtual” friend--these friendships are real.