metro mama

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Bear Hug

Cakes continues to be the most unaffectionate child I have ever seen, particularly towards her mother. She has found a way to grudgingly admit her love: remember a while back I told you how she throws Dirty Simon where she wants to go? Her latest shtick is to show her fondness by throwing Simon at you. Yes my friends, that’s as good as it gets for me. No kisses, no soft, warm hugs, no snuggles: just bear hugs—a stinky, dirty bear lobbed in my general direction.

I don’t read many parenting books, but I vaguely remember reading somewhere that toddlers often behave better at daycare and with other caregivers than they do when with their mothers. This is because of the trusting relationship they have with their mother—they feel free to let mother see them at their worst because they know they're loved unconditionally. I am going with this theory--how else can I explain how Cakes is an asshole only around me? She behaves perfectly with everyone else, but once we’re alone together…asshole! Yes, we have an attached, trusting relationship indeed.

When she was good, she was very, very good
But when she was bad she was horrid.



Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

She throws her bear at you? She must really love you.

Give it time, pretty soon she'll be clinging to you and you'll be wondering "what the heck do I do with this?".

9:05 PM  
Blogger NotSoSage said...

It's so true. I've seen it time and time again. Putting Mme L into a snowsuit is hell on earth; hand her over to her grandmother or a daycare worker, and it's easy as pie.

Sometimes unconditional love can be a bitch.

9:09 PM  
Blogger MotherBumper said...

Bruisings from the bear? It's love :)

9:11 PM  
Blogger Lisa b said...

You make me feel so much better about the abuse I am suffering at the hands of my child.
Cakes is hilarious

9:35 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

I'm starting to believe this as well. Cordy has been a monster this week, and I've been home with her all week due to the snow. Coincidence? She's always her worst around me.

And that's hilarious about throwing her bear. Cordy has a puppy and does much the same thing.

Hugs will come. It took Cordy a long, long time to want to show me any affection.

9:43 PM  
Blogger penelopeto said...

I am laughing so hard that I actually dribbled.

10:27 PM  
Blogger nomotherearth said...

The Boy is like that with food. At daycare, he will eat anything you put in front of him. At home - only pasta. If it wasn't for daycare, he would get scurvy.

10:43 PM  
Blogger Alley Cat said...

If it makes you feel at all better, Pumpkin has only hugged me about 4 times in her 19 months. On two of those times, the hugs were prompted by a wall of mirrors that she liked watching herself in while she was hugging me. I do get hit in the face a fair bit though, without any mirror prompts.

10:56 PM  
Blogger Denguy said...

Ugh, the crap we mothers put up with--oh wait, I'm not a mother.

12:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Be thankful it's a stuffed bear and not those wooden/plastic gear sets from Ikea!

Nothing says love like a welt, right?

6:39 AM  
Blogger mamatulip said...

Julia's very, very affectionate -- sometimes smothering in her affection -- but what gets me is that she eats at preschool. She EATS, dammit. Things she'd NEVER eat here.

It just galls me.

8:22 AM  
Anonymous ali said...

emily is notorious for being a pain in the ass for me, but an angel for everyone else. when her teachers talk about her...i'm all "emily? my emily? are you sure?"

9:45 AM  
Blogger Tania (urbanmommy is so 2006) said...

I'm doing my best to 'train' my little guy to be snuggly. In the last week, I've successfully gotten within inches of him when we're reading, hopefully by next week, he'll sit on my lap or at least let our elbows touch. It is strange - and completely unexpected - that babes aren't automatically affectionate with their mothers. I never knew about this. Bring on the separation anxiety please, jsut a little.

9:57 AM  
Blogger crazymumma said...

aaaawwww, she will be in bigirls lap in no time when we are up north. I'll have the girls train her in the ways of affectionate manipulation.

She throws Simon at you. Thats pretty funny Metro...

12:29 PM  
Blogger Sandra said...

I have a soft spot for Cakes. I am sorry she tosses her dirty bear at you. (Clearly a sign of deep and undending affection). She just keeps getting cuter and cuter though.

2:12 PM  
Blogger Jenifer G. said...

Yup, that is love. Mine are not huge snugglers either with me, but they smother their Dad.

Your last few posts made me laugh. Just catching up this afternoon. Sure girls more toys, just leave mama alone now...

6:09 PM  
Blogger ewe are here said...

I know and cling to this theory as well at times.

A bear, huh? ;-)

9:49 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

That theory holds true. Ok it did at our house at least...

5:05 PM  

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