Shut Up and Shtup Me

As married women, we often moan about the shortcomings of our sex lives–we tend to forget the upside of marital relations. After being married for a few years, there is a certain comfort level that makes up for the lack of the exciting, spine-tingling premarital sex of our youth. First and foremost, it sure is nice to have sex always available. Remember the droughts of our single days, when we didn’t know where our next poke was coming from? Do you miss the days of dating a new person and wondering how long was long enough to wait so he wouldn’t think you were easy? The worst part was when you waited and waited and he turned out to be a dud. Indeed, there are many benefits of married sex:

· he (hopefully) knows how to get you off by now; there is no need to explain what to do (or if you’re shy, simmer in silent frustration);

· it’s OK to tell him to wait until after Lost;

· you don’t worry about if you’ve had a pedicure lately, shaved your legs, and if you have nice underwear on;

· you’re not worried about making a good impression, so you can be the kind of lover you’re in the mood to be at the moment (aggressive/docile/generous/lazy);

· there’s no requirement to keep up the romance after the act—you can reach for your book, or go make a sandwich if you want.

The best part is, sex doesn’t always have to be a big production. A gal doesn’t always need an hour of foreplay (especially if she has been reading something racy or has just watched Prison Break). Sometimes a mama is horny but tired: it’s nice to be able to say, “honey, can you just shut up and shtup!”