It’s been over six months since I officially quit my job with the record company I worked for before I had Cakes—it’s time to reassess the situation.
I had a bit of an identity crisis at first. When I was on maternity leave, though I knew I wasn’t going back, it didn’t seem real: when people asked what I did, I’d say I was on maternity leave. When my maternity leave ended, I suddenly felt cast adrift. I felt uncomfortable when I met someone and was asked what I did. I missed being needed at work and it really hurt when they found someone great to take my place. I missed getting recognition for my work.
I still really miss the social aspect of working. This past weekend was the legendary Christmas party—it’s the first Christmas I have no big event to dress up for (those firefighters do not make a big deal of Christmas). Each year they take the entire company to a resort up north. We (they!) have dinner and dance. The best part is the “after party” where wild things happen. Everyone kicks off their high heels, throws on their pajama bottoms and grabs their toboggans. The last thing I remember about last years’ party was karaoke—I remember doing a spirited version of Paradise City, complete with air guitar at around 4 am. Our karaoke was abruptly ended when the machine was tossed out the fifth story window into a snow bank below. I shit you not.
Yes, I miss that stuff. However, I’ve made inroads in the friendship department. Between the blogging ladies, the guys next door, and the two moms across the street, I haven’t been lonely lately. I think the blogging ladies might be up for a wild karaoke night.
The other thing that remains slightly uncomfortable is the money issue. Though we have enough, it would be nice to have some of my own (it doesn’t help that with the recent Income Trust announcement my little nest egg has tanked).
For the most part however, I have adjusted to my new status. I’m happy with what I’m doing. I’m thankful we have this option. I do get recognition: smiles from my daughter; gratitude from my husband for his clean socks and happy cock; your votes in the Canadian Blog Awards; A’s. It all adds up.
As for validation: one look at my thriving, healthy, happy daughter is all I need. Despite my lack of training, the unsuitability of my personality, and a complete absence of experience, I’ve done a stellar job.
Between my courses, reading, and writing, I have plenty of mental stimulation. I’m getting so much more out of my classes now that I’m not attending them already mentally drained from my day at work.
I finally really appreciate what I do. If you ask me at a cocktail party, I’ll proudly say, “I’m staying home with my daughter.” I have the most important job in the room. I’m a top-notch craftsperson.
Can I get some service around here?
Go on over and meet Mouse at Mommy Blogs Toronto.
Labels: on motherhood