metro mama

Monday, November 27, 2006

Gainful Employment

It’s been over six months since I officially quit my job with the record company I worked for before I had Cakes—it’s time to reassess the situation.

I had a bit of an identity crisis at first. When I was on maternity leave, though I knew I wasn’t going back, it didn’t seem real: when people asked what I did, I’d say I was on maternity leave. When my maternity leave ended, I suddenly felt cast adrift. I felt uncomfortable when I met someone and was asked what I did. I missed being needed at work and it really hurt when they found someone great to take my place. I missed getting recognition for my work.

I still really miss the social aspect of working. This past weekend was the legendary Christmas party—it’s the first Christmas I have no big event to dress up for (those firefighters do not make a big deal of Christmas). Each year they take the entire company to a resort up north. We (they!) have dinner and dance. The best part is the “after party” where wild things happen. Everyone kicks off their high heels, throws on their pajama bottoms and grabs their toboggans. The last thing I remember about last years’ party was karaoke—I remember doing a spirited version of Paradise City, complete with air guitar at around 4 am. Our karaoke was abruptly ended when the machine was tossed out the fifth story window into a snow bank below. I shit you not.

Yes, I miss that stuff. However, I’ve made inroads in the friendship department. Between the blogging ladies, the guys next door, and the two moms across the street, I haven’t been lonely lately. I think the blogging ladies might be up for a wild karaoke night.

The other thing that remains slightly uncomfortable is the money issue. Though we have enough, it would be nice to have some of my own (it doesn’t help that with the recent Income Trust announcement my little nest egg has tanked).

For the most part however, I have adjusted to my new status. I’m happy with what I’m doing. I’m thankful we have this option. I do get recognition: smiles from my daughter; gratitude from my husband for his clean socks and happy cock; your votes in the Canadian Blog Awards; A’s. It all adds up.

As for validation: one look at my thriving, healthy, happy daughter is all I need. Despite my lack of training, the unsuitability of my personality, and a complete absence of experience, I’ve done a stellar job.

Between my courses, reading, and writing, I have plenty of mental stimulation. I’m getting so much more out of my classes now that I’m not attending them already mentally drained from my day at work.

I finally really appreciate what I do. If you ask me at a cocktail party, I’ll proudly say, “I’m staying home with my daughter.” I have the most important job in the room. I’m a top-notch craftsperson.

Can I get some service around here?


Go on over and meet Mouse at Mommy Blogs Toronto.



Anonymous Alicia said...

weird and coincidental. my parents recently moved from BC to Niagara on the Lake. Our family cat just passed away so we went to visit my mourning mother on Saturday. of course they insisted we walk the strip and go for a wine tasting...I knew it was THE christmas party..i just didnt know the weekend... guess what. it was THE weekend. We passed the venue i knew it was being held at and lucky me, i got a view of a couple of the manager, accounting 80's lady... I hid under my hood. ah well. atleast my bf works for a cool company and we're going to his party this weekend. c'est la vie...atleast we were there for the 10th anniversary party thing at the 360!

10:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would kill to miss my office Christmas party. I guess they are not all created equal.

10:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your current job is cool like dat.

Karaoke - Bring it on!

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hear you loud and clear - didn't we discuss this weekend before last? That's a darn cute photo of the Cakes.

9:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been to that party.


11:08 AM  
Blogger kittenpie said...

I'm so glad you're happy at it! I don't think I could do it, but I guess you never know how something will suit you until you try, do you?

11:12 AM  
Blogger Lisa b said...

I really had a hard time adjusting to that stay at home mom gig. Even being a student didn't seem to cut it for me. I also felt weird when people asked me what I did. I guess it was because like you I really enjoyed my job and the satisfaction and recognition I got from it.
Fortunately I have now adjusted to being a housewife
bring on the karaoke.

11:12 AM  
Blogger metro mama said...

Ali: You should have gone in, they'd have loved to see you!

J: The after-party was in your room once, wasn't it? (the year I was pregnant-the one year I couldn't do the after-party)

MB: Yes, our conversation got me thinking.

11:14 AM  
Blogger Lady M said...

What a cutie! Definitely gainful employment, raising a charming little gal.

12:42 PM  
Anonymous ali said...

did you really write "happy cock"?

you really are a girl after my own heart.

and karaoke? yes!

1:22 PM  
Blogger nomotherearth said...

This is something that I've struggled with myself. I could stay home, but I'm worried I'd be "adrift" as you said. I also like money (who doesn't??) ;-) You are brave, and I'm glad you're happy - it gives me hope! And something to think about..

And karaoke?? I am SO there.

3:34 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

This is so brave and honest. These days, there's so much pressure on moms to make the "right" decision--which is inevitably the opposite of whichever decision you've made. I wish I could stay home. But even then, I know I'd find a way to work, if onlly from home. You've gotta be who you are and do what feels right for you, whatever that is. I'm very happy you found peace with your choice.

3:39 PM  
Blogger Mamalooper said...

I love being at home with Monkeygirl but still feel adrift at times as well. After a year I still don't have the rhythm of this down. Still feeling guilty when I do things for myself - how crazy is that?????

3:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Staying at home raising my boy has been a tough adjustment in a lot of ways. Somewhat of an identity-crisis from time to time. And I really don't know what I'm going to 'be' when I do go back to work eventually because I'm in a different country. Scary.

As for the holiday parties, I'm dreading my husband's Christmas party. New company. New people. And I'll feel like a bit of a whale because I'll be 7 months preggers. Ugh.

4:18 PM  
Blogger jen said...

it actually sounds quite the lack of funds piece. i always thought i'd never want to stay home, and now, after 2 years of full time work and child, am rethinking my thinking.

her face is exquisite...truly.

7:18 PM  
Anonymous Big Papa said...

I think your doing a helluva job! We don't have a lot of coin, but we have a few nice bottles of wine in the bar, pick one out and enjoy it. I'll pick up some more when I get home, just don't throw the stereo off the roof deck.


7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great post.
I heard you loud and clear, and I hear myself saying similar things.
It's hard when you know what you're missing, but aren't you glad you're not missing what you know now?

10:16 PM  
Blogger penelopeto said...

don't worry; the party wasn't that good.

i remember something about dancing with ceci to sexyback, eva doing a stripper dance, greg making out with a box and i think i might have called ed a jackass at some point.

oh, and something about dance dance revolution? ask your neighbour about that one. all i know is, me, emilie and theresa are going on tour.

and mama, we missed you too.

10:28 PM  
Blogger Haley-O said...

Tee, you said happy cock! Hee!

I feel the same way about the money issue. It would be nice to have more of my own. But, I don't miss working at all. I'm having a ball as a stay-at-home mom, and, like you, I feel fulfilled by the happy monkey, the blogging, by friends, etc.

Wonderful post. :)

11:46 PM  
Anonymous krista said...

OK, that picture and the caption under it are absolutely hilarious. I love the expression on her face, and it look sort of like she sis snapping her fingers to get some service. Haha. Love it.

8:42 AM  
Blogger petite gourmand said...

I had a hard time deciding not to go back to work full time as well.
For me it was more of an ego thing.
But now I'm so glad that I decided to be a s.a.h.m./ part time freelancer.
it's a really great balance for me. (us)
I was never 9 to 5 so I would have barely seen lulu.
maybe an hour or so a day.
no thanks.
This time of year does make me miss it though.
Christmas parties are always pretty fun.
Fortunately I can still be big daddy's date at a few.

BP. love your comment- you guys sound like such a fantastic couple.
glad to hear you are both happy with your decisions.

9:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great post. I think we ladies could do some karaoke!

10:34 AM  
Blogger Beck said...

Excellent post. I've been home with my three kids for over seven years now, and I still have weird moments when people ask me what I do. Raising fine children is an excellent craft, though, and I love it.

10:44 AM  
Blogger crazymumma said...

Fantastic Post metro. Look at the look she is giving you in that photo. Your Wish is my Command Oh Royal Princess Cakes.....

1:18 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I LOVE her sweet little expressions! Cuteness overload!

6:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I went back to work after MatLv. Though I had mixed feelings, big-time, it's probably just as well. During my leave, despite the crush of learning how to care for a baby and feeling overwhelmed, I did have time to miss work friends. I found I was looking forward to DH's report of what went on in the wonderful world of design-build construction that day. Yep, it was time to either join a mom's club or go back to work. I ended up doing both.
We could swing the at-home single salary, but the bottom line is I get too much self-worth from working. If I wasn't so involved in my work, it would probably be easier to walk away.

5:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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3:03 AM  

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