metro mama

Friday, August 17, 2007

Sugar and Spice and Finally Nice

A while back I wrote about how I was concerned about Cakes’ alpha-babe tendencies. She had a nasty habit of pushing the other kids around, stealing toys, and generally being a big arse in social situations. I was actually a lot more concerned than I let on here. I hoped it was just a phase. I tried everything to change the behaviour, even actually following through on threats to leave the park. But Cakes’ quest for world-domination persisted, for months. I knew I wasn’t alone: I knew other moms with “assertive” daughters. Yet I was worried and even a little ashamed.

So, if you’re going through the same thing, you can relax. It is a phase, and they do grow out of it. Look! Photographic evidence!

Yes, that’s Cakes and WonderBaby, holding hands. And just a short year ago they were beating each other up in the park. She is even sharing her toys and, gasp, offering snacks to her friends!

I’m really relieved things have changed before she starts preschool. And maybe now I’ll get invited on a few more play dates: now there’s only one arse in this mother-daughter duo.



Blogger jen said...

ah. lovely. every time i get stuck on something it changes. it's amazing how that works.

9:42 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

They'll still probably cuff each other on the head from time to time. But it will be done with looooove.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Kyla said...

Those two are adorable.

Did I mention I'm jealous of the MBT playdates? 'Cause I totally am.

11:08 AM  
Blogger nomotherearth said...

Well, the invitation's always open on my end..(wish we had gotten that photograph though - how sweet!)

11:18 AM  
Anonymous MonkeysMama said...

Wonderful! It is an awful stage isn't it! LOL! I remember the first time it happened with Monkey. I was horrified and embarassed. Thank goodness it came and went :)

11:59 AM  
Blogger Beck said...

Aw, the sweetness.
I had a friend - when The Girl was a toddler - who had the roughest, most aggresive, most assertive toddler EVER. Seriously. I wouldn't let the Girl play one on one with her. And yet now? At 8? She's this timid, mild, well-behaved little kid. Toddler behaviour is not a total indicator of who they're going to end up being.

12:49 PM  
Blogger mamatulip said...

Oh, I needed to see (and hear) this today...I've got my own little ruffian here and sometimes I picture him at thirty years old, swatting Julia in the head.

4:42 PM  
Anonymous Christina said...

So cute! Glad she's worked out her aggressions, lol. Mine has never been dominant, which is a good thing. She's big enough she could do some serious damage to another kid her age!

5:14 PM  
Blogger Alley Cat said...

I've been dealing with the opposite problem. Pumpkin is getting creamed by all her friends, and she wont fight back. Maybe it's a phase too?

5:24 PM  
Blogger petite gourmand said...

so sweet..cakes is a sweetie pie and lots of fun on play dates.
sometimes I wish lulu was more assertive so I wouldn't be so worried about her all the time.
there's something to be said about a little chicky who can stand her ground.

9:38 PM  
Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

I hope you are right because The Mayor is smacking his friends. Urg.

9:52 PM  
Anonymous Redneck Mommy said...

I'm burning with jealousy that I don't have a daughter to add to that picture....


12:17 AM  
Anonymous Naomi (Urban Mummy) said...

This is so good to know. Yesterday my 2.5 year old son was bullying a 4 year old girl.

Hopefully I'm not in as much trouble as I think I am!

9:39 AM  
Blogger em v said...

Sweet photo.
I've got the opposite phase going on... E has an anxiety attack if a child (babies included) so much as glances in his general direction, which is almost as unnerving (as a parent) as having a tough guy/gal.

2:31 PM  
Anonymous Sandra said...

That photo takes my breath away. And you are a good mama and a good woman ... it was only a matter of time before she took after you.

7:42 PM  
Blogger kgirl said...

Dude - she HUGGED me. 'Nuff said.
That photo is a total keeper.

10:23 PM  
Blogger kittenpie said...

Aw, growing. they really do learn to be sociable and even, one day, vaguely civilised, although we're still working on that one. I am so loving that picture.

11:14 AM  
Blogger Teena said...

What a cute picture!

9:50 PM  
Blogger bitemycookie said...

hey, what's wrong with being a strong, assertive woman in this world? not becoming of a toddler, to be sure, but at least she's not afraid to go after what she wants. she's a lover. we all figure out how to get what we want without literally pushing anyone, eventually. adorable snapshot.

7:18 AM  

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