Surrounded By Idiots

I think Cakes’ teachers think she has a couple of idiots for parents.

Her preschool always has these lovely activities planned, which McHotty and I always manage to screw up. Many of the other parents went all out for Halloween and Christmas--we did nada (who the hell has time to make individual goodie bags for 20 kids? Well, obviously, lots of people do). I barely managed to remember to do her Valentines last month. I always forget about pajama day. So I’m just being consistent when I fuck up Easter.

There was a note in her locker a couple of days ago asking us to bring in a hard-boiled egg, and some treats for her teachers to hide for an Easter hunt. Cakes is staying home with her Grandma today, so we had to send the treats yesterday. McHotty and I went shopping the other night, and bought a big bag of jujube bunnies (because we like jujubes), but when we got them home, my mother pointed out that since they’re unwrapped, they’d be hard to hide around the classroom. Oops. Oh well, a little lint never stopped a toddler from eating a candy.

I managed to remember to boil the egg. Luckily, we had a single egg left in the fridge. I put it on to boil, and sat down with my book. A half an hour later, McHotty discovered it on the stove--cracked of course. It was too late to buy more eggs, so we sent her with the cracked one, and pretended it happened on the way. Oh, shame on us.

McHotty took her to school yesterday, and managed to remember to take the big bag of jujubes. Unfortunately, he neglected to give them to her teachers, and left them in her knapsack. Cakes didn’t forget about them. During naptime, she smuggled them into her cot and handed them out surreptitiously. That’s my girl--not even three and giving out contraband goodies on the sly.

When I picked Cakes up at the end of the day, I was a star. Several toddlers surrounded me excitedly: “hi Cakes’ mommy! Cakes’ mommy! Candy! Yeah, Cakes’ mommy!” Oy.

I will be buying her teachers a very nice Christmas present this year.