I Hate Keeping Secrets
Wow, I’m amazed how many of you read the 25 things to the news at the end! In case you didn’t (and I wouldn’t blame you) I finally ‘fessed up to being 16 weeks pregnant. Can you believe I didn’t blog about it for this long? I was actually tempted to hit the keyboard as soon as I peed on the stick, but I wanted to tell a lot of people in person. I think it’s kinda tacky to announce this kind of news so publicly without filling in close friends first; besides, I prefer real hugs over virtual ones any day!
And by saving the news, I’ve also spared you from 3 months of whining. This pregnancy is EXACTLY like the first—exhaustion and nausea for the first trimester which abruptly ended with the start of the second. This time, I turned the corner in Acapulco. How can you be exhausted when you’re lying around drinking virgin pina coladas all day? This is the other reason we left Cakes at home--I expect it’s the last solo vacation for a very long time.
To my great relief, Cakes is happy about the news. She keeps giving my belly (yes, it’s already getting big) hugs and kisses. Unfortunately, she “only wants a sister”. We’re having the ultrasound on the 25th, so we’ll have plenty of time to prepare her if we see a penis.
I’m overjoyed about this pregnancy, but I can’t tell you how much I dread giving birth. The nightmare from the first time is still so fresh, I actually feel light-headed if I think about it too hard. I’m trying to do things differently this time: I have a mid-wife instead of an OB (but I’ll deliver in the hospital); I’m going to leave work a month early. Statistically, it is unlikely for placenta acreta to strike twice, but I can’t help but worry.
I’m also nervous about leaving work. Like everyone else, the publishing industry is being hit hard, and I’m worried about my job. I’m thinking about coming back after nine months—McHotty really wants to take pat leave, and I don’t want to be out of the loop for long. But you only get this time when they’re young once—I already feel sad about Cakes starting JK in the fall.
Has anyone else returned to work early? Any regrets?