metro mama

Monday, February 09, 2009

I Hate Keeping Secrets

Wow, I’m amazed how many of you read the 25 things to the news at the end! In case you didn’t (and I wouldn’t blame you) I finally ‘fessed up to being 16 weeks pregnant. Can you believe I didn’t blog about it for this long? I was actually tempted to hit the keyboard as soon as I peed on the stick, but I wanted to tell a lot of people in person. I think it’s kinda tacky to announce this kind of news so publicly without filling in close friends first; besides, I prefer real hugs over virtual ones any day!

And by saving the news, I’ve also spared you from 3 months of whining. This pregnancy is EXACTLY like the first—exhaustion and nausea for the first trimester which abruptly ended with the start of the second. This time, I turned the corner in Acapulco. How can you be exhausted when you’re lying around drinking virgin pina coladas all day? This is the other reason we left Cakes at home--I expect it’s the last solo vacation for a very long time.

To my great relief, Cakes is happy about the news. She keeps giving my belly (yes, it’s already getting big) hugs and kisses. Unfortunately, she “only wants a sister”. We’re having the ultrasound on the 25th, so we’ll have plenty of time to prepare her if we see a penis.

I’m overjoyed about this pregnancy, but I can’t tell you how much I dread giving birth. The nightmare from the first time is still so fresh, I actually feel light-headed if I think about it too hard. I’m trying to do things differently this time: I have a mid-wife instead of an OB (but I’ll deliver in the hospital); I’m going to leave work a month early. Statistically, it is unlikely for placenta acreta to strike twice, but I can’t help but worry.

I’m also nervous about leaving work. Like everyone else, the publishing industry is being hit hard, and I’m worried about my job. I’m thinking about coming back after nine months—McHotty really wants to take pat leave, and I don’t want to be out of the loop for long. But you only get this time when they’re young once—I already feel sad about Cakes starting JK in the fall.

Has anyone else returned to work early? Any regrets?

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9 Comments:

Blogger ewe are here said...

Congratulations! I'm absolutely delighted for you ... Cakes is going to be a wonderful big sister!

I'm a month ahead of you (June 28), and, like you, didn't announce via blog until I'd told my close friends and family.

I'm not looking forward to giving birth, but I am looking forward to meeting my little girl.

1:11 PM  
Blogger Bea said...

I went back to work at nine months both times, and it felt like exactly the right time to me - my kids both self-weaned at that time, and I was very read to start having some time away during the day. Hubby was a student, so he didn't have pat leave, either - which he would have loved to take if he were eligible. I think it's really important and valuable for dads to take a few months of parental leave - so I say go for it!

7:09 PM  
Blogger No Mother Earth said...

I actually found the whole birth and newborn thing way easier than the first time around. I found that it's the scheduling between two children is what's difficult for me.

If you need/want to go back to work early, try to think of it this way - how many kids actually get to have time home with their dads? That's golden.

8:02 PM  
Blogger Lisa b said...

Congrats again! You looked great when I saw you, even if you didn't feel fantastic. You so deserve this all to go well and you know everyone will be more careful.

As for going back to work, you know I am a total slacker but I remember at six weeks being sick thinking of women in the US having to go back to work, but by six months I could see it was manageable. I think a year is a long time, especially with your second I think it is easier to go back to work earlier. Hell I leave my 'medically fragile' baby to go to work because as I like to say, a day at work is like a day at the spa for moms of young children.

10:03 PM  
Blogger kittenpie said...

LOL at Lisa - I do think work seems easier! And how awesome would it be for home to get to be home for a bit?! I think the only hard part would be the necessity of pumping while at work, if you wanted to continue breastmilk after going back. That would be a major pain.

And Pumpkinpie only wanted a sister, too, but grudginly accepted that it might b okay to have a brother. She's doing okay. Plus, I think it actually really helped that she started JK the same fall - it gives her something that is fun, new, exciting, and all hers to do. And such a big girl thing it is, too. It's good. Cakes will love it.

4:23 AM  
Blogger kgirl said...

Well, I wasn't going to give up one second of my mat leave, so it's serendipitous that Chris lost his job and was able to spend the summer with us, easing the pressure on me to give him the time.
But I totally understand about your job, and it definitley is nice for dad to have the bonding time with the kids.

And yes, a day at work is WAY easier than a day at home with both kids. Not better, just easier.

2:06 PM  
Blogger Beck said...

I get being scared - I really do - but having had three kids, I haven't found my labours, deliveries or recoveries to be even SIMILAR from one kid to the next.
Hoping you have a nice, restful, unnauseated second trimester.

8:58 PM  
Blogger Kyla said...

Congrats!!!

KayTar's birth was much easier than BubTar's...seconds usually are.

As far as maternity leave, I live in the US, so I only got six weeks each time.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous SparkleFrog said...

Take your time returning, even if the economy is bad, you will be able to find work. I only have one child but several friends mentioned that it was much tougher returning to work after the second baby.

11:12 PM  

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