metro mama

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Not a Baby Anymore

Her Bad Mother put out the call for words to express our physical love for our babies.

While I honestly don’t think I have words to do the topic justice (everything I try to write sounds trite to me), I thought I’d reflect on how our physical relationship has changed as Cakes moves from baby to toddler.

When she was very little we would nap together, her on my chest, skin on skin, my heart swelling with a visceral need to be close to hers.

We would lie together for hours—she sleeping peacefully, warmed by my body, me trying desperately not to wake her, savouring the moment.

Now that she’s, gulp, becoming a toddler, we don’t have those moments anymore. She has not liked to be cuddled for a long time. I miss it so much.

We find other ways to be physical together though: her little hand reaches for mine when she gets to the deep end of the pool; we play roughhousing, rolling together gleefully on the floor; I kiss her all over her chubby little body, labelling her parts as I go; I stroke her hair, smell her, squeeze her, love her.

She is a part of me; I need to be close to her. I can't get enough of her.

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12 Comments:

Anonymous mamatulip said...

That was beautiful. So is the picture.

9:12 AM  
Blogger bubandpie said...

The cuddliness comes back later on - Bub was never cuddly as a baby, but now he asks for hugs all the time. I don't think he really figured out the whole hug concept until he was almost two.

And I love love love that photo.

10:11 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

It's complicated, isn't it, as they get bigger? Even just at nine months, WonderBaby pulls away, eager to play, explore, just when I want to inhale her skin. But then, when I'm exhausted and overwhelmed, she clings. Which is challenging for a moment, until I breathe in her skin again, and I cling back.

12:27 PM  
Blogger crazymumma said...

Yummy delicious Cakes...I wanted to give her hickies at the wedding.
Beautiful shot of you two....Anne

5:39 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

How beautiful. I am loving reading all of these posts inspired by HBM.

I fear the day that Little Guy won't want to cuddle anymore. I know that day will come--I'm thinking somewhere around the tween years. I can't stand to think about it. I love my cuddles so much.

P.S. I think we may have the same rocking chair. :)

8:22 PM  
Blogger penelopeto said...

beautiful picture.

8:42 PM  
Blogger Java Junkie said...

"We would lie together for hours—she sleeping peacefully, warmed by my body, me trying desperately not to wake her, savouring the moment." *gulp* yep, that's it exactly. Exactly. Don't move, don't giggle at something on TV, don't scratch an itch, and hold your bladder for every second you can. Do. Not. Wake. the baby.

It's a mental command I know all too well and miss all too much.

9:45 PM  
Blogger something blue said...

My daughter awoke in the middle of the night to come and get me from my bed. She took my hand and led me down the hall and said in her sweet three year old voice "Come and cuddle mommy." I melted.

I hope Cakes returns to her cuddly ways but until then, take every precious moment you can. Thanks for sharing these beautiful thoughts and the gorgeous photo!

1:59 PM  
Blogger Mother Bumper said...

I love this post. I had to link to this because you just captured it perfectly. I so know what you mean and I hold onto Bumper so long sometimes just to drink her in - she's already getting into shoving me away.

I love that photo. Cakes makes me sigh.

9:43 PM  
Blogger Mayberry said...

There is nothing, NOTHING, like that feeling when your lump of a little baby is sleeping on your chest! I miss it!

Thanks for stopping by my place.

9:57 PM  
Blogger Gattina said...

Sweet souvenirs ! my baby is now 33 ! but there is still hope to be a grandma !

11:48 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

I love that picture. The essence of love.

8:07 PM  

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