All Done

Last night was my final undergrad class. It was a lovely finish to the year. We all brought wine to class—we sipped and chatted, and the brave folks read some of their own poems (no, I wasn’t one of them).

I’m feeling a little bittersweet today though. I’m happy because after seven long years I’m finally (FINALLY!) finished. The champagne is chilling in the fridge and we’re going to celebrate. I was going to get a head start on the MA this summer, but the course I wanted is full, so I think I’ll take a little time to relax and try and do some writing. Feels good.

But I’m also a little rueful that I didn’t do all this sooner. I was too busy getting stoned in high school to care about school, and my family didn’t push it much—they were just happy I made it through college (I’m the first in my immediate family to go to university). Then I wasted years building a career in IT that I walked away from.

I can’t help but wonder where I would be today if I’d focused on one goal (I’ve whined about this before). Have any of you had a strong sense of vocation from day one?

Since I last posted about this, I am a lot more clear on what I want to do next. I love writing, and it will always be my hobby. I may even get paid for something now and then. But I really don’t think I’ll ever earn a living from writing. Plus, even if I had the talent, I don’t think I could handle the solitude. I’m really starting to believe my vocation is to teach adults. I know I’d be good at it. I really want to make a difference in people’s lives and I think I can do so as a teacher (the professors who have encouraged me have been so important in my life). Another plus—I would get paid to read books!

If this doesn’t work out, I’m going to hairdressing school.

A Relaxing Day in the Country

Yeah, right. Today we took Cakes on her first field trip. We, along with about 40 other kids, hopped on a bus and went to the Sugarbush maple syrup festival, at the Kortright Centre, a conservation area north of Toronto.

The day started out well. It was gorgeous and sunny. Cakes was great during the 45 minute bus ride and all the kids were well behaved. The setting was lovely and Cakes had a great time tromping through the bush.






Things literally started to go downhill when Cakes took off running down a steep hill and did a face slide, stopping mere millimetres from a huge tree. Her good mood faded when we made her get in her stroller.



We finished the walk and lunch and were ready to get the hell out of dodge about an hour before we were scheduled to go. Cakes ran around like a maniac and all I could think about was getting home to a cup of tea, some blogs, and the coffee crisp Jana gave me last night.

We finally all boarded the bus and did roll call. One mother was missing. Bitch.

Finally, we got on our way. Cakes commenced a monster melt-down that lasted until we were five minutes from home, at which time she passed out from exhaustion on the floor of the bus.



I think we’ll wait a couple of years for the next field trip.

Seriously though, when do you think they are ready for stuff like this?

Things to See and Do

I’m getting free tickets in exchange for telling you about the stage adaptation of Edward Scissorhands, in town next week at the Hummingbird Centre. The show, based on the Tim Burton movie, is directed and choreographed by Matthew Bourne (Swan Lake, Mary Poppins). It looks pretty cool. I read that they needed three dancers to play the lead because of the weight of the scissor gloves, and the supporting dancers had to wear protective gear during dress rehearsal! Groovy.

There are three shows--Wednesday, April 4 through Friday, April 6 at 8 PM. If you’re interested, you can get $15 off tickets by logging on to Tickmaster.ca with the promotional code EDBLOG.

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Get your mother’s day presents now! The One of a Kind show starts tomorrow and runs until April 1.

***

Despite the fact it won the Oscar, we watched The Departed last night. I was pleasantly surprised--it was really good. Mark Wahlburg steals the show as a foul-mouthed sergeant.

Coincidentally, tonight the neighbours and I went to see the film that won best foreign flick at the Oscars this year, The Lives of Others. It was excellent. The film begins in East Berlin, five years before the fall of the Berlin Wall. A member of the Stasi, East Germany’s powerful secret police, spies on a famous writer and his actress girlfriend, gradually becoming more and more involved in their lives and disillusioned with his career. It was interesting from a political perspective, as well as a human drama. I highly recommend this film.

What are you guys seeing and doing lately?

Real Moms

I've been tagged by No Mother Earth to do Kristen's Real Moms Meme.

Real moms like to get together for a good, stiff cocktail...

Real Moms. Slugging 'em back, one ounce at a time.

...and, sometimes we like to go home to a good stiff c*ck.

I tag Sunshine, Blue, K-girl, Jen, and Kittenpie.

100 Books (Only About Half Worth Reading)

Bub and Pie invited us to help ourselves to the book meme going around based on the 100 favourite books of all time, voted by the public. I have to warn you, I’m not endorsing this list—it’s a piece of crap. DaVinci Code beats Pride and Prejudice? WTF people? However, I can’t resist a book meme. I had to steal Bub and Pie’s categories too, with slight modifications. Bold denotes books I’ve read.

Let me know if you think I’d like any in the no thanks category.

The Essentials (Read more than twice)

2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)

Books I’ve Read More Than Once

17. Fall on Your Knees(Ann-Marie MacDonald)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)

Cracking Good Reads

3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)


Books I’ve Read Once (And That Was Plenty)

4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)


The Red-Faced Files (Oh! The Shame!)

29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
63. War and Peace (Tolsoy)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davies)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)


What the Fack?

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown

Overrated

24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold) I hate this book.
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields) I love Shields, but this is my least fav)

I’m Not In Oprah’s Book Club

30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)

Wouldn’t Mind Reading

42. Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini) I have this under the bed somewhere.
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)

No, Thanks

5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring* (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)*
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
45. The Bible*
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)

* started and did not finish


I’ve Never Actually Heard of These Books
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
76. Tigana (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)

Help yourselves to this one. K-girl, I know you’re dying to show off.

And They Say Mommy Bloggers Are Boring

I read an article in Backbone magazine (no, this isn’t something I buy, it fell out of one of the newspapers) about the new trend of CEO bloggers. High-level execs like Mark Cuban and Jonathon Schwartz are “offering insight into the daily travails of a CEO, a world most will likely never see first-hand”. Sounds exciting, doesn’t it!

Jim Estill, CEO of Synnex, has blogging down to a science: “I write about 15 percent personal, because you have to humanize it and that’s what people want, and 80 per cent business, because that’s the value.” He also warns about the pitfalls of CEO blogging: “It makes me less of a mystery man, but then I also get e-mails with pictures of kids’ birthdays, because people think they know me.” The nerve of some people!

And if you think the blogosphere has been bastardized by advertising, wait ‘til you hear this. The article acknowledged that some CEOs are, well, boring. Enter the ghost blogger! So, if you’re looking for a way to get rich from blogging, stop hoping for a book deal. Maybe Bill Gates will give you a job.

I took a quick peek at Estill’s blog. The theme of the last several posts seems to be not having enough time to work out. Cutting edge stuff.

***

This is what a day’s worth of jackhammering looks like:



I am going to tempt the sleep Gods by telling you that Cakes managed to nap during the jackhammering. I shit you not. Despite the deafening noise, and the entire house vibrating, she snoozed for two whole hours. Please don’t hate me. She’s bad in other ways, honest.

The noise continues today. My mom took Cakes to the drop-in and I am holding down the fort. The noise is distracting me from doing anything productive; hence the massive (but scattered) post today.

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A new study by McMaster University says there may be great health benefits for newborn babies by waiting at least two minutes to cut the umbilical cord. Check out the article here.

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This morning I sat on the toilet. I happened to glance over and noticed a big spider sitting on the toilet paper. I ran away, pants around my ankles.

Good thing I hadn’t gone yet.

There's a Facking Moat in My Backyard

Last summer you watched my garden grow from this:



To this:



As you know, I planted many bulbs last fall. I anticipated the pay-off: I planned to spend the spring with my feet up and my glass full. The only time I'd planned to spend on my knees this summer was when McHotty was extra sweet.

Well dudes, check out the latest development:





The basement flooded during the storm last week. They dug a twelve-foot trench right outside the back door to install weeping tile. Next, they’re going to rip up my basement carpet and dig a fucking trench through my basement to a drain. I think this is going to involve a jackhammer--during the end of the term when I am trying to finish two papers. Great.

On the bright side, at least we’re not paying for this. And the landscapers are supposed to come back and replace everything. It won't be the same as the garden I made with my own hands though. Also, we may have to change the design a bit to help the water issue.

When does it end?

Metro Reco: Shopaholic and Baby

Of course, the latest Shopaholic book would have to arrive from Random House during the busiest time of the school year. And of course, I would have to take a day off to read it greedily and speedily. What a lovely diversion. I even gave up my Wednesday night sex because I couldn’t put it down.

Becky Bloomwood is back and better than ever as an expectant mother. What better excuse to shop than an unborn child? A girl needs five prams, doesn’t she? But Becks’ pregnant bliss is marred when her gorgeous celebrity obstetrician turns out to be Luke’s ex.

If you love the Shopaholic books, this one will not disappoint. It’s as fab as the rest of ‘em.

I heart you, Sophie Kinsella.

No Shame

The morning after the condom incident, McHotty went to the drugstore to stock up. He returned with two-dozen condoms, as well as toothpaste, the newspaper and some shampoo. He is embarrassed to buy just condoms!

This is bizarre to me. I could go to the drugstore and buy condoms, Monistat and haemorrhoid cream and not give a shit. They could ask for a fucking price check on lubricant over the PA system and I could care less.

How about you guys? Are you embarrassed buying personal products?

***
Motherbumper tagged me for a musical meme to list seven songs I’m diggin’ right now. Here they are:

Metric Monster Hospital (this is the coolest video) watch

Bif Naked We’re Not Gonna Take It watch

The Arcade Fire Rebellion (Lies) (Cakes’ favourite right now) watch

Broken Social Scene Cause=Time (one of my all-time faves) watch

Johnny Cash Hurt watch

Chris Cornell Black Hole Sun (I’m so pissed, he’s in town when we’re on vacation) watch

Gwen Stefani Wind It Up (I love anything Sound of Music related) watch

I tag Niloc, who’s holding down the fort while Jana’s away.

***

McHotty and I finished watching Firefly last night. The show is awesome—it is a very cool blend of sci-fi and western.

I’m so pissed they only got to make 14 episodes.

Joss Whedon is brilliant. I’m going to console myself with re-watching all seven seasons of Buffy.

Any other Firefly fans reading?

Hot and Stymied

A couple of nights ago, McHotty and I were getting it on. We’d greased the wheels, and were about to get in gear. McHotty, naked, runs to my dresser drawer to grab a condom:

Drawer opened, scramble, scramble, drawer closed. Flummoxed pause.

I don’t like the sound of that.

“Maybe the condoms are in your drawer,” I offer, hopefully.

Open, scramble, sigh, close. “Shit.”

“Did you look under the bed?” I ask, testily.

McHotty sticks his head under the bed.

“No! Just an empty wrapper. And a lot of books.”

Hmmm. What books! I must clean under the bed, I think.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” I say.

“Um, no.” McHotty, plaintively.

Naked, I leap into action and scour dresser drawers. I reach under the bed. I even look under the mattress. Nada. I do a quick calculation what day of my cycle it is…day 9…-ish…I think.

“Fuck it. Go grab a handful of kleenex.”

Metro Reco: Inside

I read Inside, Kenneth J. Harvey’s newest novel, in a 24-hour period. I felt like I’d been punched in the gut when I was finished.

Wrongfully convicted Myrden has just been released after spending 14 years in prison. He returns to his tough neighbourhood in St. John’s, Newfoundland; awaiting him is an unfaithful, money-hungry wife, a daughter in an abusive relationship, a grandchild he has never met, former drinking buddies who helped get him convicted and sons who live hard and die young (the one who made good hasn’t spoken to him in years). He finds refuge in the arms of Ruth, a former lover he doesn’t think he’s good enough for.

A tragedy, the story is about redemption, friendship, loyalty, addiction, rage, fate, hope and the vicious cycle of poverty.

The novel is cleverly narrated in short, abrupt sentences; the effect on the reader is an underlying sense of anxiety, similar to the one always present in the man trying to adjust to the world outside prison walls. I was nervous about the technique when I started the book, but it works. Inside is an emotional, gripping read.

Inside has been nominated for the 2006 Rogers Writers' Trust Fiction Prize. The winner, to be selected in March, will receive $15,000, with $2,000 presented to each of the finalists. Harvey’s novel, The Town That Forgot How to Breathe won the Thomas Raddall Atlantic Fiction Award in Canada. His works have also been nominated for the Books in Canada First Novel Award and the Commonwealth Writers Prize. Harvey lives with his family in a Newfoundland outport.

Mega Meta

Some very thoughtful and articulate bloggers have put together some discussion questions to try and answer the who, what, where, etc of mommy blogging. Here are a few of the questions and my thoughts:

Why are we writing? What is our purpose?

I started blogging mainly to work through my conflicting feelings about becoming a stay-at-home-mom, but I continue to blog for so many reasons:

· For a creative outlet.
· To connect with people and make new friends; give and receive support, encouragement, advice; combat loneliness, boredom and isolation.
· To improve my writing skills.
· To amuse (myself and hopefully others).
· Intellectual exercise.
· Documentation of my daughter’s childhood and my experiences as a mother (I find it interesting I’ve listed this reason last—when I started blogging I would have listed this higher).

What is the context for our writing? What are we saying? What is our message?

I’m writing against the stereotypical image of Mother: perfect, patient, fulfilled solely by motherhood, pure, kind, gentle. I try to capture the profundity of my experiences as a mother while clinging to the other aspects of my self: friend, scholar, lover, artist. I want to be honest about my shortcomings as a mother to receive encouragement from others, and to let other parents know they are not alone. None of us are perfect.

How does the medium of blogging affect all of the above (that is, does, or how does, the communication of our messages through blogs, bear upon the message itself?)

I think what we want most is to be heard, and have someone else say, “yes! I know how you feel”. The ability to comment is crucial to the supportive, reciprocal community we’ve created. Having our own space allows us to express ourselves creatively and the mutual respect we have for each other’s space give us the freedom to say what we really think without much fear of negative response. The ability to preserve our anonymity if we choose is also incredibly liberating.

The format of blog posts, generally concise and focussed, is perfect for mothers. You can write a post during a nap, or even while a toddler plays independently. Sitting down to try and write a novel? More than a little daunting. Motherhood was one of the reasons Alice Munro ended up writing short stories—out of necessity. Jane Urquhart also wrote short stories and poetry when her children were young (she has one daughter and four step-children). Both women wrote during their children’s naps. Urquhart didn’t have “a room of her own” until the children were grown, and wrote on the dining room table.

What kind of citizen are you in the parent blogosphere? How and why do you comment? Link? Give awards? How important is 'off-blog' (or inter-blog) activity to the parent blogging community?

I comment to provide support and encouragement, or if I have something to contribute to the discussion. But, I often read blogs hastily, or late at night, and can’t always muster much to say. Then I just comment to let the writer know I’m reading (sometimes we just want someone to listen anyway).

Off-blog activity is very important to me. I do appreciate my ‘virtual’ friendships, but I’d much prefer to raise a glass with you or watch our kids play together.

What are some tried and true hangover remedies that you know?

Greasy foods, sleep, sex, chocolate, carbonated beverages. Commiserating with other hungover bloggers.

Wow, speaking of concise, this post was not. If you’re still here, thanks for seeing it through!

My. Head. Hurts.

So, I went to the pub last night with several Toronto mommy bloggers (sorry, I’m too tired for linky love right now), full of intentions to have only one or two drinks and head home at a reasonable hour, because I knew McHotty was working today and I would be on solo duty for 24 hours.

Yeah, right. I’ve been out with these bad ladies before, and that hasn’t happened yet.

I would share the gory details if I could remember them.

I do recall the ladies becoming rather raunchy after midnight (Crazymumma’s personal trainer figured largely in the conversation and inspired her to go home and write erotica at 2:00 in the morning, naughty girl).

Cakes was up at 7 this morning and I called my neighbours at 9, desperate for a play-date invitation. They’re so kind and understanding. A made a pitcher of OJ and soda-water and D ran out to Tim’s and got us Breakfast Sandwiches and large coffees. There’s nothing like bacon and egg on a tea biscuit the morning after, is there.

I’ve just put Cakes down for her nap and now I’m going to make soup and go back to bed myself. Please, Cakes—nap soundly and long for mama, ‘kay?

February ROFL Awards

As you know, Mommy Off the Record, creator of the ROFL (Roll On the Floor Laughing) Awards, has passed the torch to Mrs. Chicky, Izzy and I (thanks for the button, Izzy!).

I am pleased to present February's awardees. Congrats!

Sit back and have a laugh, it's Friday. Hopefully the boss isn't looking.

Oh, The Joys awarded Kevin Charnas

Kevin Charnas awarded Moobs

One Plus Two awarded Don’t Make Me Get My Flying Monkeys

Crank Mama awarded Avery Lane Experience

Cheaper Than Therapy awarded Anne Nahm

Mama Tulip awarded Redneck Mommy

Mad Hatter awarded Not So Sage

Mothergoose Mouse awarded Irreverent Antisocial Intellectual

Slackermommy awarded Midwestern Mommy

Mayberry Mom awarded Under the Ponderosas

Dirty Birdie awarded Oh, the Joys

The Ravin Picture Mavin awarded Piglet of Fire

Meena awarded Suburban Turmoil

A Child is Born awarded Mom 101

Mo-Wo awarded Mommymatic

Fenicle awarded Theory of Thought

The Skinny on School

Last week I attended a seminar at our drop-in about choosing a school (this stuff is all new to me, so I’m learning all I can and I’ll pass it along). We had parent council members from two of the local public schools and a member of the executive of a new alternative school that may be opening. Though this is still a couple of years away for Cakes, I’m keen to have a clear sense of what I want for her.

The parents from the school that serves our address spoke very highly of it and confirmed my belief it is the best choice for us. It’s nice and small (200), the students are diverse, they have a double gym and new playground equipment, a band, a good library, a science room, annual field trips and they take them to see plays (with a small subsidy from the parents). Folks speak very highly about the principal (I’m told the principal plays a big role in the direction of the school).

I also went to their open house and met some of the teachers. Overall, I’m impressed and relieved—this school is one block away (I can’t imagine having to drive the kids to an out-of-district school). At the open house, we ran into a few parents of kids that Cakes plays with now—I love the fact that the friends she’s making already may be the ones who see her through high school.

I also learned how important parent council is. I introduced myself to the chair of ours and am going to start sitting in on meetings already. It’s important to have a say in the direction the school takes--I’d like the International Languages program at our school, something that isn’t offered now.

The new alternative school opening in my area is also something to think about. The school would be public (I wouldn’t consider private school, even if it were an option) and derives its principles from Waldorf. A lot of aspects of the school appeal to me, but I’m not convinced about the Waldorf approach. Will these students be adequately prepared for high school? What are your thoughts on Waldorf?

One of my big questions is if they teach phonics. There are some younger students in my poetry class who obviously grew up in whole language classrooms. We often read out loud, and when they come to words they don’t recognize, they can’t sound them out. This boggles my mind. I say, give a kid the power to read on her own (instead of her vocabulary being limited to the words she’s memorized) and she will want to read. I sure did—I was reading stuff well beyond my years at a tender age.

What are your thoughts on phonics versus whole language? Any elementary school teachers reading?

Back to my original subject, for those with kids already in school, what type of school is it and how satisfied are you?

Sweet Sleep

The only worse thing than being a mother who isn’t sleeping is being a mother who lies awake while her baby is snoozing peacefully.

I am a long-time sufferer of insomnia. It always strikes when I’m worried or upset about something: when something heavy’s on my mind I will toss and turn all night. It also hits me when good stuff is happening. I didn’t sleep for two nights after my good news last week.

With our trip coming up in April, I’m already losing sleep over the thought of the upcoming sleepless nights. I get really excited about travel and can’t sleep before or during it. Our last big trip was our honeymoon. A nurse friend hooked me up with some sleeping pills--between the pills and a bottle of champagne every night I did all right. Unfortunately, I’ve lost touch with her, and I doubt there’ll be free champagne at my friend’s where we staying (or will there be, Chris?)

Friends, please let me in on your best sleep solutions, whatever they may be: techniques, narcotics, rituals, herbs, sexual acts, teas, whatever. I'll try (almost) anything!

Good Enough After All

Thank-you for all your supportive comments yesterday. You really made me feel better.

I felt even better when I received an email from York a short time later offering me a full-time spot with a research and graduate assistantship and a scholarship! I hadn’t really thought about doing it full-time, but this changes everything. The scholarship will cover the tuition and the assistantships will cover the childcare, and then some. Plus, I think Cakes would only benefit from a few days of nursery school each week. It is getting harder to keep her stimulated at home. I also think it will be good for me.

This will postpone our baby-making plans by a few months, but that’s OK. This way, I’ll finish the program in August 2008 and will finally (finally!) be done. It would not be easy slugging away at it part-time for the next four years with a toddler as well as a newborn.

So friends, I am happy, happy, happy. I hope the U of T offer comes through in April so I can turn it down.

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Please send your ROFL nominations to metro_mama@hotmail.com by Wednesday, March 7 and we will announce them on Friday, March 9. Email me if you’d like to be added to our mailing list. Thanks!

Never Enough

As you know, I’m hoping to start working on an MA in English next year and had applied to U of T and York. I just received a letter from U of T telling me I’m on the reserve list and will find out if I’m accepted in April. I can’t believe it. I have an A average and strong references. I honestly wasn’t worried about being accepted. I just called them and learned this is the double cohort year (they cut grade 13 in Ontario 4 years ago, creating two years worth of students entering university at the same time—these students are now applying to graduate school). Also, with the pressure to accommodate this there are fewer part-time positions available. So, I’m making an appointment with the director of the program to talk about my application, though I’ll probably end up going to York (providing they offer me a place) rather than wait another year for U of T.

I’m so disappointed. I work so fucking hard and it never seems to be enough.