metro mama

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Shut Up and Shtup Me

As married women, we often moan about the shortcomings of our sex lives–we tend to forget the upside of marital relations. After being married for a few years, there is a certain comfort level that makes up for the lack of the exciting, spine-tingling premarital sex of our youth. First and foremost, it sure is nice to have sex always available. Remember the droughts of our single days, when we didn’t know where our next poke was coming from? Do you miss the days of dating a new person and wondering how long was long enough to wait so he wouldn’t think you were easy? The worst part was when you waited and waited and he turned out to be a dud. Indeed, there are many benefits of married sex:

· he (hopefully) knows how to get you off by now; there is no need to explain what to do (or if you’re shy, simmer in silent frustration);

· it’s OK to tell him to wait until after Lost;

· you don’t worry about if you’ve had a pedicure lately, shaved your legs, and if you have nice underwear on;

· you’re not worried about making a good impression, so you can be the kind of lover you’re in the mood to be at the moment (aggressive/docile/generous/lazy);

· there’s no requirement to keep up the romance after the act—you can reach for your book, or go make a sandwich if you want.

The best part is, sex doesn’t always have to be a big production. A gal doesn’t always need an hour of foreplay (especially if she has been reading something racy or has just watched Prison Break). Sometimes a mama is horny but tired: it’s nice to be able to say, “honey, can you just shut up and shtup!”


Sunday, October 29, 2006

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Yesterday was Penelope's first annual Baby Ghosts and Toddling Terrors Hallowe’en Party/Photo Op. Cakes and Bee were there, as well as six other toddler friends. Thanks to her inept mother, Cakes had her choice of two lame Value Village costumes, each of which lasted about five minutes:

A bumblebee…

More fittingly, a devil…

Her party behaviour was eerily similar to her mother’s:

Exhibit A: Triple-fisting

Exhibit B: Flirting with boys

Exhibit C: Getting jealous of other girls.

A spooktacular time was had by all. Thanks Penelope!


Saturday, October 28, 2006

Attention Alice Munro Fans

* Edited below!
**Links added!

There is an interview with Alice Munro in the Review section of today's Globe and Mail. Find it here. She chats about her latest collection of stories, the Scots, her mother, and writing as atonement; she says, "I am always writing to make up for things I've done". I hope she writes more.


I made it to the blogger panel at the Motherlode conference last night. I missed part of the discussion as Catherine's presentation was most inconveniently scheduled opposite this panel--hopefully someone will post a good recap. The women had some very interesting things to say about blogging, from various perspectives: art, community, political science, business. I'm glad I went.

I will link this post up later when I have a few moments. I am kinda frantically trying to figure out Cakes halloween costume for Penelope's party in two hours. I stopped at Old Navy on my way home last night, hoping to get a costume. When I asked where the kids' costumes were, they looked at me like I had two heads. "Oh, they're all sold out," they said, looking at me piteously. Shit.


I just found another Munro interview in today's Toronto Star. Read it here. There's also a quiz. Yes, I did get every question right.

While you're there, check out this story.


Friday, October 27, 2006

Cakes Recommends: Pocoyo Discovers Shapes

Cakes and I have just discovered the Pocoyo books. Right now she’s loving Pocoyo Discovers Shapes. Though I can’t wait to read her Coleridge, right now she’s more interested in board books with few words and lots of colourful graphics. Pocoyo is just her speed. The illustrations are sweet and there are lots of recognizable objects for her to point out and identify proudly, like dog, ball, and blocks.

There are quite a few titles in the series, such as Pocoyo Discovers First Words, Pocoyo Can Count, and Pocoyo Discovers Colours.

Cakes approves. Ah well, there is plenty of time for poetry I suppose.


Thursday, October 26, 2006

13 Easy Meals

I am a little domestically challenged. I was a slightly chagrined when all the working women showed up for Stitch ‘n’ Bitch the other day with home-made goodies. I had opened a bag of Decadent Chocolate Chip cookies. I can’t sew; I suck at knitting. I can’t remember the last time I used the iron. I do keep a pretty clean house, but only because I feel kind of anxious when it gets messy. I am not a good cook. When I do try to make something from scratch, I have to follow the recipe religiously and sometimes have to call my mother or MIL when the recipe uses a term I don’t understand, like blanch for example.

Lucky for us, BP does most of our cooking. On the rare occasion he does not, I do have a few easy meals I can get on the table with a minimum of fuss. Warning! These are not all nutritious or economical, but I like them and they sure are easy:

1. A roasted chicken with pre-washed organic mixed greens on the side. Slice up a tomato and it’s a salad. Add avocado if you have it. Try to save enough chicken to have wraps for lunch the next day.

2. Fresh pasta with pesto, pine nuts and parmesan. If you still have chicken left, throw it in there too.

3. Presidents Choice butter chicken and nan (they make it fresh in the bakery now!)

4. Grilled salmon or tuna. Slice a zucchini in half and throw it on the grill too. Enjoy with a nice crusty loaf of Ace bread and tapenade.

5. Presidents Choice Vegetable Lasagne. We get the club pack size and have it for lunch all week too.

6. Gourmet pizza. Buy whole-wheat shells. I like prosciutto, red pepper, mushroom, and mozzarella; or smoked salmon, capers, onion, and goat cheese. Yummy.

7. Burgers--beef, lamb, chicken, veg. Whatevs. Gourmet them up with a nice cheese.

8. For a special occasion, the packaged New Zealand rack of lamb. It’s already marinated; you just need to throw it on the grill, and it is delish. Serve with green beans and grilled new potatoes: cut potatoes in half, toss with rosemary, olive oil, salt and pepper and grill for 20 minutes.

9. Buy kabobs at St. Lawrence Market (lamb, chicken, or beef). Serve with greek salad and tzatziki.

10. A nice omelette with whatever you have in the fridge (make sure you put lots of cheese in it).

11. Tostadas: spread refried beans on a tortilla. Top with chopped tomato, fresh cilantro, avocado, green pepper, green onion, cheddar and sour cream. Serve with cold beer.

12. A nice grilled steak, portabella mushroom and baked potato with fresh chives.

13. My favourite: Thai take-out.

There! Now you’re all set for two weeks (unless you’re a vegetarian, in which case you’re set for about two days). No need to thank me.

Care to share your secrets?

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Nose to the Grindstone

I am almost through the first hell week of the term. I gave a presentation and turned in a paper today; Thursday I hand in another paper and write a test. It sure will feel good to have this week behind me. The next big crunch comes at the end of November, then I have a little break in December—the stack of new fiction next to my bed will have to wait ‘til then. sigh.

I should remove the blog-ranking gadgets on my site. The number doesn’t show up in the US top sites half the time because I’m in the triple digits. As for the Canadian top sites, I’ve currently being “beaten” by a blog called Breakfast Meat, which is described by its authors as “a blog and website inspired by, but not limited to the drunken, and hung over musings of a group of friends from southern Saskatchewan”.

Good thing I’m thick-skinned.

Is there anything worse than blogging at 4 am while your baby sleeps peacefully? Insomnia strikes again. Asshole.


Tuesday, October 24, 2006

That Meme in Paris

I’ve been tagged by Penelope for a fun meme:

1. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Celine Dion. I can’t stand her. And those Anne Geddes calendars? Is there anything creepier? Where do they get the babies? I sure as hell wouldn’t let Anne Geddes and Celine Dion get their hands on Cakes. Mamas, I hope they paid you lots to prostitute your kids like that. Poor bastards.

2. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?

Angelina Jolie. I’m off Brad right now, and it might be fun to pitch for the other team for a change. Plus, I could use a little crazy in my life.

3. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?

My hero, Dave Grohl. Look what his fingers can coax out of a guitar…

4. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?

I’ll start my atonement by taking BP to dinner at Verveine.

5. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Paris, mon amie.

6. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?

A nice bottle of vin at a café.

7. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?

Order the most expensive champagne, and cuddle my babe and my man.

8. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?

The power to turn water into wine.

9. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Rocking out to Keep on Rockin’ in the Free World at the Neil Young concert.

10. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

I have to agree with Penelope—Paris in the 1920s. I’ll hang in the cafes with my notepad and drink champagne with Hemingway, Callaghan and Fitzgerald.

11. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Getting my period on the school bus when I was 12.

12. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin’! What country are you going to live in now?

I’ll make my way to the UK. I’ll go to pubs and plays with Christine in London and visit all the Jane Austen sites on the weekends.

13. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?

Kurt Cobain. We need more Nirvana.

14. What’s your theme song?

Lust for Life

Now, I tag Mother Bumper and Crazy Mumma.


Sunday, October 22, 2006

Stitch 'n' Bitch

While we're on the subject of needles...

Today my friend Knitrovert held Stitch ‘n’ Bitch at my place. Several of my former colleagues came over bearing baked goods and knitting needles. I must admit, I did all bitching and no stitching. Shannon taught me to knit at her inaugural S&B and I did spend an entire winter making a scarf for BP. I was proud to have finished it, but it ended up being really wide and stiff, and itchy as hell. I haven’t seen him wear it once. Since then, I’m done with knitting. Fuck knitting. However, I do like to admire the projects of others. I wish I were more crafty.

Lucky for me, I have a mother who adores knitting and crocheting for Cakes. Here is some of her handiwork:

Great stuff, isn't it?

Knitrovert has amazing work too. And! She makes personalized beer cozies. How cool is that.


Saturday, October 21, 2006

Our "Up and Coming" Neighbourhood

Despite the new Starbucks, I see we still have a way to go:

Do you find shit like this on your yard in Rosedale?

The best part? After a few phone calls, I have learned there is no one who picks this shit up. One puts on gloves, puts it in a glass jar and walks it to the nearest disposal site (which of course, isn't open until Monday). Nice.


Friday, October 20, 2006

Poetry for Kids

Last week in my Romantics class we were looking at Coleridge’s The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. One of the things we discussed was how the poem would appeal to kids. The poem is very rhythmic, and there is lots of alliteration:

Nor dim nor red, like God’s own head,
The glorious Sun uprist:
Then all averred, I had killed the bird
That brought the fog and mist.
’Twas right, said they, such birds to slay,
That bring the fog and mist.

The fair breeze blew, the white foam flew,
The furrow followed free;
We were the first that ever burst
Into that silent sea.

You’ll recognize this:

Water, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.

Kids are also attracted to the supernatural element of the poem. At times it’s downright scary:

Like one, that on a lonesome road
Doth walk in fear and dread,
And having once turned round walks on,
And turns no more his head;
Because he knows, a frightful fiend
Doth close behind him tread.

I can’t wait until Cakes and I move beyond board books. I'm going to try all kinds of stuff out on her--I think we may be surprised what appeals. Also, kids might have some pretty neat interpretations of poetry, with their imagination and open minds.

Do any of you read poetry to your kids? What do they like? Or, what do you plan to read to them?

Board books are for chumps.


Thursday, October 19, 2006

13 Funny Google Searches

Here are 13 funny google searches that led folks here. Who are these people?

1. “how to get a job in lcbo”

Wish I knew.

2. “looking to hook up tonight in Riverdale”

Don’t look at me, I’m married.

3. “leslieville prostitute”

The guy above you should have been more specific.

4. “who won The Think You Can Dance show”

Find out here first!

5. “You know what I wanna do? ===What? Strut.”

I wanna strut too.

6. “too old to be a dad birth defect”

How old is he?

7. “Terrifying birth stories”


8. “john travolta spotted in Yorkville”

Was he strutting?

9. “baby won’t cuddle”

Tell me about it.

10. “jeans that cover the muffin top”

There were many varieties of this one. The muffin top is epidemic!

11. “wee garden”

Size doesn't matter.

12. “strong willed baby”

I can’t help you.

13. “good cakes downtown Toronto”

I have a Cakes—she’s downtown, but I wouldn’t call her good.

Who you callin’ good?.

What are some of your favourite words?
Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Mean Girl

I’ve found Cakes to be a little mean sometimes of late.

She bashes the cats with dirty Simon.

She kicks my breasts when I’m trying to change her diaper and then laughs at me.

At the park the other day, she took an old man’s cane and ran away with it (of course, I was busy chatting and didn’t notice until I heard the other parents calling her and she was halfway across the park). I shit you not.

Last night during her dinner, I was on my knees cleaning up the scrambled eggs she had tossed to the floor when she decided my head was a good target for her peas.

Is this how bullies start out?

hee, my peas bounce off mama’s head


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

New Car!

Interested in a field trip to Stratford? I recently attended the launch of the Stratford Festival's 2007 season--the playbill looks excellent. Find the full story at Mommy Blogs Toronto. Mommy Blogs Toronto will officially re-launch at the end of the month--be sure to check back!

We all slept until 8:00 on this rainy morning (unheard of around here). Pure heaven.

Yesterday was a pretty good day here in T.O. I took advantage of the weather to do some work on the garden: I pulled all the annuals and planted 75 bulbs. I had a good time out there, until I bashed my head on this:

We picked up our new car! The 2007 Honda Civic LX:

They gave us $50 for the old one.

It handles so well, especially compared to our old piece of crap. I love the smell of the car--it inspires me to keep it clean and tidy. Cakes has already been told, no more cheerios in the car.

Gotta go, Cakes and I are goin' cruisin'.


I just realized, I posted the wrong picture--ours is the 4-door. Anyway, you get the idea.


Monday, October 16, 2006

Times Have Changed

The times, they sure have changed.

10 years ago, my ideal evening consisted of: a bite to eat at the pub; catching a band at a bar; inviting everyone back for a party at my place; ending the evening by tossing off my clothes and going to bed with a man at about 4 am.

5 years ago, my ideal evening was: a four-course meal at a swank restaurant and a nice bottle of wine; a play; a nightcap; candles, music, changing into something “more comfortable” and going to bed with my man at about 1 am.

Last night, after a particularly exhausting day with Cakes, BP was working and I enjoyed my current ideal evening: a huge bowl of pasta, smothered with both cheddar and parmesan, accompanied by a glass of home-made red; a long, hot shower; changing into my track pants and lounging on the couch watching Amazing Race and Desperate Housewives, accompanied by another glass of wine and more cheese; checking email and site meter; putting on my pajamas; sprawling in bed alone, asleep by exactly 10:30 pm.



Friday, October 13, 2006

How My Training in the Corporate World Has Served Me Well

* clarification below

Before I became a mother, I worked in IT, first for a non-profit, then a record company. I did computer support, helpdesk, and network administration. Many of the skills I learned at work have served me well for my current job as a stay-at-home mom:

I gained valuable insight into how to manage the needs of unreasonable, capricious tyrants;

I learned how not to get bored by doing the same things over and over again;

I was on call all the time and often worked evenings and weekends;

I learned how to explain things slowly, simply, and clearly, with patience;

I learned what to do when someone is having a temper tantrum (stand back, keep quiet and let them work it out);

I learned how to manage stress;

I learned there are some problems I cannot fix;

I learned not to take it personally when someone was having a bad day and taking it out on me;

I crawled under furniture*;

I got used to doing a hell of a lot of work for far too little remuneration;

I learned how to make a stiff gin and tonic at the end of the day.


* To plug things in, you pervs.


Thursday, October 12, 2006

13 Great Words

Sorry I didn't post yesterday--I was a little tied up.

Here are my 13 favourite words. Some of them I overuse; others, I just like the sound they make; for some, it's the meaning that turns my crank.

1. yes
2. irreverent
3. infinite
4. vitriolic
5. sale
6. catalyst
7. ethereal
8. irascible
9. vigourous

What are some of your favourite words?
Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Calling All Philosophers!

*clarification below

Ladies, I’m looking for your thoughts for a paper I’m writing for my philosophy class. The paper is about Simone de Beauvoir’s theory that one is either in a state of transcendence (active being) or immanence (passivity) and that woman’s biology works against her transcendence.

As part of my research, I’d like the views of real women, particularly mothers, on the subject. Please let me know your thoughts! Comment here or email I’ll probably focus on pregnancy and motherhood but any ideas are welcome.

In case you’re wondering, my prof is quite open to unconventional research. Just to give you an idea, I had the option of doing a performance piece instead of the paper.

Hope to hear from you! If I’m happy with it, I’ll post the paper when it’s done.


Here is a little more about transcendence vs immanence:

Beauvoir maintains that human existence is an ambiguous interplay between transcendence and immanence, yet men have been privileged with expressing transcendence through projects, whereas women have been forced into the repetitive and uncreative life of immanence.


Monday, October 09, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving

We just returned from a fabulous Thanksgiving (our favourite holiday) with BP’s family in Kingston. Both of his sisters were there, whom we haven’t seen in months. The weather was amazing, and we had some good walks. We took Cakes to the spot where BP proposed:

And they held hands where we were married:

Cakes acquired a taste for leaves:

But not all varieties:

I was so excited for Cakes to try her first turkey dinner:

She didn’t like anything. She ate smoked salmon and pasta instead.

The adults ate like kings. Friday night, we had crab cakes to start, and scallops for dinner; Saturday, the wonderful traditional turkey feast; Sunday, gorgeous grilled steaks. I ate lots of chocolate pie, one of my favourites. My mother-in-law got up in the morning with Cakes and we got to sleep in—two days in a row! Spoiled, we are.

Because it was a full house, we slept in the Bert and Ernie room. You can see how it got its name:

We had a perfect weekend until our trip home today. Exactly halfway home, in Colbourne, our car broke down. We have been thinking about replacing it for a while, and had already selected the Honda Civic as its replacement, but we were trying to run it into the ground. Well folks, I think it is finally done. I’m really glad this didn’t happen in the middle of winter when I was alone with Cakes. Luckily, someone stopped for us right away. They gave Cakes and I a ride to the gas station; there was no room for her car seat so she had to ride the half-mile in my lap. I felt like Britney Spears. We were able to get a tow truck with an extendacab that fit the carseat. The driver was really nice and gave us a good deal—my shitty CAA membership only paid for the first 10 km and we were on the hook for the other 140.

Our neighbours were outside when finally got home. After hearing about our ordeal they declared we deserve cocktails, so we’re going next-door as soon as Cakes goes to bed. Papa has taken her to the park to wear her out. With the fresh air, and the exciting ride home we’ll be sipping a martini by 7.


Saturday, October 07, 2006

Jane Austen Festival 2006

My friend Christine recently returned from the Jane Austen festival in Bath. I'm so jealous.

See more pics and the complete report at Christine's site here. Enjoy!


Friday, October 06, 2006

Metro Mama Recommends: The View From Castle Rock

Alice Munro’s latest collection of short stories, The View from Castle Rock is her most autobiographical work yet—the stories, though fiction, are based on her own life and the lives of her ancestors. The first half of the collection traces the family history: Munro pieced the stories together from the written accounts of her ancestors (there has been a writer in each generation) as well as her own family research. In No Advantages she takes us back to the Scottish Borders in the 18th century; in the title story we join the family’s voyage to Canada in 1818; we witness the family’s struggles as pioneers in the 19th century; finally, in Working for a Living we meet Munroe’s parents, Robert a fox farmer and Anne, a former teacher.

The second half of the collection returns to the stories of Alice’s life. We cover some familiar territory for Munro readers: rural small-town life, the father we met in Royal Beatings, the dying mother and the guilt of a daughter trying to lead her own life. In The Ticket, we meet 19-year old Munro, newly engaged to Michael and deeply conscious of their class differences. Finally, in What Do You Want to Know For, a mature Munro deals with her own morality with the discovery of a lump in her breast.

This collection is Munro at her finest—it reminds me why she is my favourite living author. Her prose is poetic, her characters alive in the pages. My only disappointment is the territory she doesn’t cover—namely, her years as a mother and writer. While many of her stories explore her relationship with her mother, few treat her own experiences as a mother. One that does, My Mother’s Dream (from The Love of a Good Woman) is my all-time favourite Munro story. I wrote a paper about this you can find here.

If you don’t read Munro, you simply must! The View from Castle Rock is a great start, but don’t stop there. It’s fascinating to read all of her work and see how she revisits certain subjects. She has said this will be her last collection—I hope she has a change of heart.


Thursday, October 05, 2006

13 Things I'm Glad I Did

Last Thursday I wrote about the things I regret. On a more positive note, here are the things I’m real glad I did:

1. Called off a wedding.
2. Sowed my wild oats (I did this rather thoroughly).
3. Quit smoking.
4. Went back to school.
5. Asked out Big Papa.
6. Moved to Toronto.
7. Convinced Big Papa to buy our house.
8. Married Big Papa.
9. Went to Mexico when we were 6 months pregnant to stock up on R&R.
10. Paid off all debt.
11. Became a mother.
12. Quit my job.
13. Started blogging.

What are you really glad you did?

My mom is in town this week. I’ve been a little down between my existential crisis and being sick for two weeks (I have a dr. appt tomorrow and I’m not leaving until he hooks me up with some antibiotics) so BP and I decided to go out for a nice dinner.

We went to a local favourite, Barrio, for tapas and wine. The food was amazing and it’s such a cozy, welcoming place. The only slight mar in the experience was the guy sitting at the bar who had THE LOUDEST VOICE EVER. You know the type—he’s fucking loud and he just won’t shut up. In my opinion, you can only be loud if you’re both smart and funny. We have a good friend like this—with each glass of wine, he gets louder and more funny. His speech gets impassioned (I goad him by bringing up political subjects) and he punctuates his statements with big booming words like FUNDAMENTALLY, punctuated by a slap on his knee. I love this kind of loud--the guy at the bar…not so much.

Anyway, the great food and wine was a great way to ease into our new hump day regimen . So far, it is a big success. Will keep you updated.


Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Nothing Will Come of Nothing

Recent events have been preying on my mind, as has Bub and Pie’s post today. Like Gabrielle, before I became a mother I viewed the world with a certain amount of clinical detachment. I could read about horrific events without really being affected personally. I can’t do it anymore.

I’ve long considered myself an agnostic. I’ve always been a doubtful, questioning person, but I was prepared to consider the possibility of some kind of order in the universe. I envied those who had religious convictions, though I didn’t (and still don’t) understand where they get their faith. Since I’ve become a mother, I’ve become increasingly cynical; I've resisted admitting it, to myself and others, but atheism is now a more correct description of my beliefs.

The things I used to be able to read about, I just can’t bear anymore: the insane number of pedophiles in our midst, the steadily increasing number of dead Canadian soldiers; the latest school shooting. One of the members of the Amish community where the massacre took place was quoted as saying God had a reason for it happening; God will provide for them; blah, blah, blah. I honestly can’t understand this way of thinking. What possible fucking reason can there be for a father of five to shoot 6-year-old girls, execution-style. How did God provide for them, or their parents?

I wish I didn’t feel this way. I have no idea how I’m going to talk about this to my daughter when the time comes. I don’t want to impose my feelings on her, but I don’t want to be a hypocrite either.

I wish I had the comfort those who have faith seem to have. It is frightening to believe there is absolutely no justice in the world. I guess all I can do is keep on doing what I’ve been trying to do all along: live for the moment, tell my baby I love her every day, and try not to waste a single moment, because I know that everything I love can be taken away from me in a heartbeat--for no reason at all.


A Babe's Work Never Ends

There was an article in the Saturday Globe and Mail Focus section that really caught my attention. David Eddie wrote, getting your kids to do chores is key to their future success. He says a growing number of educators and child psychologists say forget the piano lessons and hand the kid a mop. He cites a study by the University of Minnesota that followed kids from age 3 until their 20s to determine what features of early childhood were good predictors of successful adulthood. Guess what the most reliable gauge was? Doing chores.

One of the researchers from the study suggests kids can start doing chores as young as age 2—at that age they can pick up toys, put their clothes in the hamper, put trash in the garbage, and sweep the floor. She warns against getting them involved too late (at 9 or 10) because by then they are “too old to be indoctrinated with the concept that we’re all in this together”. She thinks the chores are good for kids because they instil in them a sense of altruism and build self-esteem.

This makes a lot of sense to me. Cakes is only 16-months old and she is already doing chores. She:

unloads the dishwasher...

sweeps the floor...

folds the laundry...

My goal is by age 4 she will be doing all of the chores and I will be writing and drinking wine all day. I hope she turns out to be a good cook like her father.

Do you kids do chores? How old are they and what do they do?


Monday, October 02, 2006

September Perfect Post and Happy 100 to Me!

This marks my 100th post! A perfect occasion to award my very first Perfect Post award.

My perfect post nomination for September is Sunshine Scribe's The Call That Changed My Life. In this post, Sandra describes a pivotal moment in her life: being diagnosed with cancer at age twenty. Thankfully, the diagnosis turned out to be wrong, but Sandra’s reaction to it speaks volumes about her strength and courage. Here’s a small excerpt:

So I did the only thing that I knew how. I took out my note book and started writing. I wrote through my fears and confusion. I wrote through my emerging anger and disbelief. I wrote through my need to protect the people around me. And I started planning. Not for dying but for living.

If you haven’t read this moving, inspiring story yet, you can find it here.

You can read more Perfect Posts at Suburban Turmoil and Petroville.


Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.